Reducing Impact of Rejections
Hey friends,
One of the biggest fears people have is that of getting rejected. It just feels like 💩. Sometimes it’s rejection from people, like that special someone, while other times it’s from companies and opportunities that you really wanted. In each case, it brings you down and takes a little bit of confidence out of you. Today I want to share how I think about rejections and what steps I take to minimize their impact on me.
I’ve been rejected a ton in my life; got rejected twice by Morgan Stanley, over 200 times by investors during fundraising, and countless times by instagram models (I should really stop sliding into DMs). Hearing these “No’s” never felt great, at least in the beginning, but over the years I got better at hearing them and facing them. Time for some math, shall we? 🤓
Using baseball terminology, here’s how I reduce the impact of rejections in my life:
Strikeouts - Learn from them and reduce them - strikeouts are rejections, they are part of life and you’re not going to be able to avoid them. So, learn to embrace rejections, it’s normal. Second, every time you get rejected, really think deep about the why. Why were you rejected? Doing a post-mortem of a situation after you’ve been rejected is the only way to learn the facts and then evolve your strategy so you have a better chance of winning the next time around. Each time I got rejected from Morgan Stanley, I learned from it, changed my approach, applying another time with a slightly better strategy. Do this, again and again, and you will reduce the number of times you will strikeout.
At-Bats - Increase them - this is the main issue of why rejections impact some people more than others. Most people don’t get on the plate enough times, so, every time they get rejected, it feels like a big deal. Increasing your denominator, the at-bats, will ultimately reduce the impact each rejection will have on you. This simply means that you must apply or take the shot multiple times. Want to work at a top investment bank or consulting firm? Apply to all of them. Want to raise a million dollars? Reach out to hundreds of venture capitalists and angel investors. Want to go on a date with a total smokeshow? Well, you’ll need to muster up that confidence and ask as many of them out. The more smokeshows you ask out on a date, the less each humiliating rejection will impact you.
Self-Belief - finally, yes you can learn from your strikeouts or get more at-bats, but ultimately, you’ll need to believe in yourself and know that one day, and that day may be far far away, you will win. You need to have this mindset every time you get rejected, each time you fall down, get back up, brush off the dust, get back on the plate, and know that you’ll hit that next ball out of the park. Knowing that one day you will win makes each rejection feel, simply, temporary.
To end this week’s note, I wanted to share with you a glimpse into my calendar. Summer is usually the busiest time for me as I am building partnerships with universities around the world. In the last few weeks I’ve done zoom calls with literally hundreds of organizations and have been rejected by a small number of them. But, given that I have so many at-bats, the rejections don’t matter at all.
Hope this strategy works for you in whatever you’re chasing, and I really wish it reduces the impact of any future rejection in your life. All the best my friends! 🤗
Sherjan
PS: please don’t fill up your calendar like mine, this is not how most of my weeks look. A busy calendar doesn’t give you time to think and reflect, that’s a bad thing.
