How Many People Truly Care?

Hey friends,

As people, we all suffer from the unfortunate habit of trying to please everyone and worrying too much about other people’s opinions. I am not sure where this trait comes from, but, I feel like since we were kids a lot of our actions and choices were made to impress and please other people vs. doing it for yourself. For example, why are you applying to Harvard Business School? No, really, why? What’s the real reason? Or, why haven’t you left your corporate job and started that restaurant you’re always telling your friends about? Or, why are you still dating that toxic, yet beautiful, person even though you know, in your heart, they are not good for you? These are just some examples of people making choices to get approval of others and not pursuing avenues that make them generally happy.

I’ve made these mistakes before, and most likely will make more in the future, but, this weekend I thought about who are these “people” whose opinions matter so much? Who are they really and how many are they? If I am sacrificing my happiness to please the world, how big is this group of people?

The answer? Lol…like 5 people…

Yes, you’ll be surprised how few people really think about you on a regular basis and actually care about what you’re up to. You may feel like your successes and failures are top of mind of thousands of friends and co-workers, but truthfully, most don’t give a shit. We spend countless hours dwelling on making choices that make us look good optically when the reality is no one is really watching. There are some people that do care, but when you actually sit down and think about who they might be, you can most likely count them on one hand.

Knowing this is important as we make our future decisions. If we know that we are not performing in front of thousands of people, we are more open to taking risks; it becomes okay to slip and fall, miss a step every now and then, and it gives you the confidence to get back up each time. Ultimately, when we do succeed, we know that we celebrate with the few people who truly care.

So, here’s an exercise for you: I want you to create your list of people that truly care about you. To keep it simple, use the Arm’s Length test. If you draw a circle on the floor around you with a radius of your arm’s length, fill in that circle with 5-6 people that you know are life-long supporters. For a lot of us, half of those people will be your closest family members, maybe a best-friend or two, sometimes even a dog. But that’s about it.

Now that you know your list, go do things that are best for you, that make you happy, that make you smile, that give you that extra kick in your step every morning. No one is really watching you, so be you, and those that are watching, they’re your fans no matter what.

Have a great week my friends! 😊

Sherjan